So yea like I totally have this giant field where I've been collecting them, and now I just give them out to people who drive by and stuff...No, I'm talking about the
badges vadges of course. Llama vadges. Yea.
I've always hated these damn things. It might have just been the contrarian in me, but I thought (and still think) my reasons were legitimate for the most part. I mean, it was just deviantart trying to capitalize on something the internet had previously made popular, much like the trollface thing they did later. This site wasn't even the first to do llamas.
Then I was like "now these kids are just throwing them out to whore their pages, and try to get stupid ones with capes and shit. Goddamn people are stupid."
...but then, and for the longest time, I realized they had purpose beyond the nonsense mentioned above, but I still wanted to be above using them. Like ever.
I'm talking about social purposes though. They're like a way to tell people "I was on yo PAGE, son!" without leaving a comment or a favorite. (Come to think of it... that's kind of the opposite of social, but hear me out.)
Then the other day, I kind of found another use for them. They're like another "tier" of interacting, that is less useful than both a comment and a fav, but better than a view.
I was on this guy's page, checking out his gallery and stuff right? His art was decent, and he'd put a lot of effort into his page, but it wasn't really the type of art I liked to see in my inbox or favorites folder. That isn't to say it was Sonic, MLP stuff, or porn, I just have a lot of shit flooding those two folders already (I'm trying to reserve space for buddies and art gods). So what do I do? Leave a comment? No, I'm far too socially awkward for that, here's a llama instead.
I mean, what was I going to say? Your art is decent, but I don't really like it enough to favorite or add you to my watch? I mean, a favorite and a watch literally take two seconds of my time, maybe even less than giving the llama, but that's not the point. Some people might feel bad about that shit if they read into it, and I'd prefer to encourage in cases like these. I know people comment/praise without doing any of this anyway, like all the time, ever since the site spurned forth into existence from $pyro the Jarkoff'$ loins, but some of us freaks out there can't help but read between the lines sometimes... and when I say sometimes, I mean frequently in situations that don't even matter. So for people like us, I'm glad I figured this llama thing out.
Once I started, I couldn't stop giving them out. I went around to random deviant pages, giving them llamas, for like twenty-three and a half minutes. It was like a new liking system that had no recordable effect on my profile. Liking, Digging, and Upvoting were fun again.
-"Does this guy deserve a llama?"
-"No, it's all MLP porn, and done in MS Paint."
-"How about this chick?"
-"Yes, for with her improvement over the years, I can sense her passion and yearning to express herself as beautifully as she can, like the beautiful human being that she is... she's just not that terrific at it yet. So here's a llama.
These llamas they're... they're freaking perfect. Nobody knows what the fuck to think when they get a llama, so there's not much they can read into. I like to imagine (especially with people new to the site) that they're just sitting there thinking "why the fuck is someone giving me a llama?"
As they learn more, they can think this someone either did it to get a llama back, to "trade visits," to show approval of the page, to induce anger, or that this certain someone has a bot running that throws out hundreds of them (along with favs/watches) every day. *Corvalian glances in the direction of one of this site's daily front-page horror artists**Ahem* Anyway...
They're not even going to know, and that's the beauty of it. All those possibilities will just get jammed up in their brain, to the point where they won't even care to validate llamas with a thought anymore (like I did for so long).
...but you know most of them will still totally look at my page after I give them one. That's the socialness, that's what it's all about, man. The circle of life and shit. Now who wants a fucking llama? You might just get one whether you want it or not, motherfuckers.
Oh, how is this a complaint?
Fine, I'll tell you how! I'm pissed off that I've betrayed my previous values of boycotting and despising llama badges. I've become everything I've ever hated!
With that, I'll leave you with one of my all-time favorite quotes, from one of my all-time favorite movies:You either die with loathing in your heart for other human beings, or you live long enough to see yourself find joy in their stupid bullshit.
-Sheriff Man-E-Faces in "This Country is For Old Men"
I can't decide which is worse.
This is about what the fuck llama badges are for... I think. Anyway, where the teal deer badges at?Anti-Compliance... Complaint:
I went to a comedy show last week with some friends, and they wouldn't comply with my demands to shut the hell up the whole show. I asked them three times
if they came to get drunk and talk, or if they came to see a damn comedy show, but they kept talking. We could have done that for a lot cheaper at home.Bogus Praise:
Dude this is awesome! It's Friday and I'm so... sober? and sitting at home, on the internet, alone? Then, why does my writing make it sound like I'm drunk... or high? No, no, no, none of this adds up at all. I'd better inspect my environment.